We had a house in Palm Springs for seven years. When we had a house in Palm Springs, I would mention it in EVERY conversation like a person who went to Harvard who keeps mentioning where they went to college so that You Know Who They Are. They Are A Person Who Went to Harvard. But you know, my brother went to Harvard which I always mention when I mention my brother lol. So this is all affectionate ribbing.
But it went like this when we had our house in the desert: Oh, you’re going to Malibu? We’re off to Palm Springs. Spring Break? Yeah, this year, we’re *not* going to Palm Springs where we have a house - we’re going to Spain. Christmas in Palm Springs is my favorite! Oh, I love summer in Palm Springs, that’s when we turn on the pool cooler, it’s chill.
Thank goodness my friends are indulgent.
I loved that effing house.
I met one of my good friends from buying that house. My real estate broker Kurt liked me so much we became friends afterwards. “You’re the only client who actually became a friend Mel, you know how you always pretend to be friends with your clients but you never see them again.” I miss Kurt too. He was an older gentleman. Kurt showed me around houses in the desert and then this house - MY house - plopped into our price range. It was more than we wanted to spend but IT WAS WORTH IT.
Our house was featured in the New York Times. It’s also been in other magazines.
Sigh.
We bought that house during the height of the Blue Bloods fame and so we always called it The House The Vampires Built.
Then… seven years later… we sold it.
I sold it.
Why?
Because I loved my husband more.
The very first year we owned the house, Mike discovered he couldn't be in hot and dry places anymore due to his health. The heat was too much for him, and hard on his system. Over the seven years we owned it, he stopped being outside in the desert where once we would be in the pool for days. We installed humidifiers, misters, everything and anything to turn our desert house into something livable for him. But in the end, I was pained seeing him shut up inside while the rest of us enjoyed the desert outdoors.
I always think of our Palm Springs house as a fairytale and selling it is a fairytale too. I don’t think you ever understand how much you love someone until you have to give up something you deeply, deeply love for them. As a YA writer, I always write about sacrifice. In Blue Bloods, Schuyler has to sacrifice saving Jack, the love of her life, to defeat Lucifer. Our books are constantly weaving these high-stakes stories about life and death, with our characters choosing love over all.
But in reality, it’s something as mundane as choosing a house over a husband. I had to do it. The only way to stop inflicting pain on him was to get rid of the house. Even if we kept it and rented it out, we’d still have to maintain it, and if we owned it, we’d feel bad not being there or using it. I had to let it go.
It’s been seven years now since we sold the house. I still think of it as my house. And it’s just another beautiful house I had to say goodbye to. (Our house in Manila was also a gorgeous mansion.) But my dad, who said goodbye to all that said, it’s just a house. It’s just a thing. We don't love things over people. It’s just a house. People are more important than things.
Life is so simple and yet it’s still hard.
And anyway there’s always something else or somewhere else to name drop isn’t there? LOL. Stay tuned for my post on St. Barts!!!
XOXO
Mel